idare

boring guard duty

2005-10-09T21:09:00.000+08:00

It’s been a while since I last blogged. Many things have happened and I am either too lazy to elaborate or simply too tired to explain. In any case army is fine with much time wasting doing really nothing. Right now I am posted to a really boring unit with nothing but guard duty.

When doing guard duty, there is really nothing to do but be vigilant and really tired and sleepy. Yes you do get to sleep. But it just seems so easy to sleep.

Well lets skip the boring stuff and carry on fillin this blog ‘o’ mine… heh (

Seeing through that window

2005-07-22T00:51:00.000+08:00

Sitting down at the corner of the room,
Dazing at what has been done
Looking at the people,
Amazed with their speech and tongues

Lookin at all the wrong places and things
Findin limited joy and flings
Wondering the purpose of their existence
Sitting in the corner in full of admiration

Knowing the facts and testing it
Embracing the fullness of knowledge and living
Wisdom and truth like chords or rhymes
A chord of three will bind.

Living a life of truth and agony
Would perhaps be a wonderful thing
But how can one ever think or embrace
If majority drives one to insanity

To behold and to understand the words of the wise
Is as good as splitting water and wine
To savor the splendor and richness of wine
Takes years of experience and bitterness

Yet in that process of toiling and training
Bitter and sour will be sweet and tender
Toughness and hardness of heart will break
Humility and prudence leads the way

To express this heart of mine is simple and complex
To paint a picture - one picture, thousand words
As my heart beats, my mind sings - a melody
A melody that offers up this perfect sacrifice.

To you my Lord I give...
A life for you and you alone I live.

Abraham

2005-07-15T13:37:00.000+08:00

Hello

Have you ever received a call from a friend only to want to tell the person you really appreciate him for calling, but you would prefer if he would call only if he had a better heart? Let me introduce to you the Universal Code for calling to show you “really” care…

The Universal Code for calling to show you care:

Call the person over the phone
Hello - a.k.a the Greeting
How are you? – to show you care
Are you sure? – to reaffirm, usually used when the person says he is fine
That’s good – usually with a sigh of relief
Take care – to tell the person to take care no matter how old the person is, but don’t tell it to a girl, it seems as though she cannot take care of herself
Bye – Finally we are done. Okay I’ve done my responsibility.

All will end in about five minutes.

THE DRAWBACK

Yes it’s moral. It makes you feel better knowing that the person was fine. But on that day itself I was not and I had to act as if nothing was on.

Even if I had nothing on, why the effort to give me five minutes?

I was bogged by it initially. But after that I realized how foolish one can be. Its not the time nor the fact that one did something, rather the fact that one does it with much effort.

FLESH IS WEAK

That is why in the bible, Jesus said indeed the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

In our walk with God many a times we are carried away with so many “distracters” that we fail to see the real reason behind the things that we do.

In our walk with God, God wants a relationship with us and yet all we can give is a simple 5 minutes of our “precious” time and tell God, “hey Man, I’m done. Okay now, take care of me and I will love you… Amen.”

That’s it.

Like that call, “Take care okay?, bye.”

FALLEN NATURE

The thought was there but the heart was missing. I felt grieved, the Holy Spirit prompted me to pray and to repent before the Lord of my many times I simply called to God and told Him, Lord here I am going to bed. Take care of yourself k? Bye.”

If God is God… then He must be our all. So perhaps we are all fallen y nature, but we should not hold on to it, rather work towards a better relationship with the Lord.

Well… Lord forgive me of my trespasses, as I forgive all who trespass against me…

Forgive me.

Bless,

Abraham

ps: i'm not trying to be sacarstic just pointing out some simple truths.

To live today, is to die to yesterdays hurts, defeats and victories.

Chicken Pox

2005-07-10T14:07:00.000+08:00

I look utterly horrible...
Spots everywhere.
Subjected to bondage
Restricted within the four walls of condemnation
I like to move
I can't stay put,
All of a sudden
This disease
has controlled me...

Chicken Pox, a dreaded irritating disease. One that some have while small, while I am having when i'm...

Well you get the point.

Its hard to imagine how I am going to spend the next 2 weeks in my house confined within these four walls day in and out. I used to like to stay at home to do many things... but now, i guess i'm wrong.

But if in case you were wondering why my blog has not been updated, its really simple.

I've been in the army for about a month already and its been fun, tiring and a great experience. Sufferings of pain and being streched are somewhat what I expected and I do like the fact to see how far I can go.

Above and beyond that, it is an honour to serve the nation. The nation here does not refer to just a dot on the map near the equator, rather, the people, memories, friends, and family. For this cause, I went to the army, to be trained. To be pressured at the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual areas means that I will either be stronger adn be a better person. Or if all is bad and gloomy, than I'd be a horrible individual without much strength and faith.

I remember how faith is not walking without the presence of fear, rather walking on despite having fears.

Faith brings us higher.

Bless,
Abraham

Wisdom and Folly

2005-06-03T09:56:00.000+08:00

The words of the wise often astounds us
Leading us into a realm of the unknown
Stepping into uncharted territories
Often hurting yet intriguing

Words of wisdom deep as the ocean
Fishes in “schools” will never come to know
Into the darkness we go – deeper
Deeper into the abyss – I don’t know where we’ll go from here

Yet deeper we go, the harder its gets
Pressures from all sides hit your ear through and fro
Deafening noises and turbulent pressures
This walk was never foretold

Who can understand wisdom and folly?
- Unless one goes into the extreme of both
To comprehend and to experience
I never will be able to go there, no, not even for a second.

This journey was made to walk
Walk a thousand miles for the experiences
For the happiness, sadness and pain
To fill us up with emotions so real

Wisdom to perceive the totality
Wisdom to understand the nature
Wisdom to even scrape the surface of such
Would bring one to subjection

Not by the world, not even by me
But by the thoughts of your mind
To paralyze every single cell
To trap you in the world thought

Insanity than occurs without much thought

The thin yet vast difference in wisdom and folly
To think it, I will not, I shall not, yet in every dimension

I am caught….

The greatness and foolishness of the things unseen
The importance and power of the intangible
Can we see wisdom in but only acts?
Can we see folly too in but only moments of shame, pain and agony

The dying nature of this world today
Cripples every being from their head
To understand every thought yet ignore
Is not bliss, but guilt forgotten – shame hidden.

Do we just believe in all that we see
To perceive everything in its light
Are we at a position to comprehend?
The fullest extent of the complexity yet intricacy

Yet life is so delicate – minds are powerful
Yet all is vanity upon vanity
Subjected to the pains of mortality
Vanity is chasing the air

Grasping wind – we cannot catch
Folly, all is folly…

The cycles of defeat and glory
All end in death – generations after will not recall
How they came, sought or fought
Vanity, all is vanity

Abraham

This particular poem is extremely strong. For those who cannot take it, I do apologise for that. It was never intended for anybody but just a mere expression of what I feel towards wisdom and folly. Yet in trying to grasp it, I often find myself trapped in my own understanding.

The bible tells us in Proverbs 3:5–6 (NKJV):

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.”

Bless,
Abraham

a different spirit

2005-05-31T09:42:00.000+08:00

a different spirit
a different life
all you ever need
a spiritual mind

contemplating on major issues
stumbled by minor actions
simple yet easy
somehow rather queasy

life, a definition worth challenging
life, a journey worth experiencing
a never so difficult thought
yet messing minds who sought

a wisdom ever so true
yet simple and complex
a simple proverb
confounded intelligence

line upon line
precept upon precept
going through a verse
many different lights

yet this widom is folly
for the world unyielding
speak and they shall not hear
a perverse generation

filled to the brim - pride
emptied beyond measure - love
to fufill the greater calling
not one will ever hear

listening is corrupted
from love to lust
from humilty to pride
from purity to corruption

living in a ever true society
conforming to the standards
of a mere generation
- no not me

to be a salt and light
to be a tower upon the hill
living not for me or for love
but for a

single purpose

Jesus Christ

Abraham

oho, my good friend

2005-05-22T02:03:00.000+08:00

Oho and his group of friends
taking shape everywhere
to the north, south, east and west
streams of life they fill...

Oho goes high and low
Up and down, like cycles
Never resting, always flowing
Streams of life it fills...

Masses of water - Oho is there
Have you got it can you see it?
On a rainy day it drips
one by one - Oho drips

H20.... water...

Water rises and falls...
Cycles of war
Cycles of love
Cycles of pain
Vicious cycles

Glorious CYCLES...

As the water over the plains rises,
Glory comes and ascends it to the highest
Like the heavens its all blue,
Into the atmosphere.

Kingdoms rise, Princes to Kings
Kings fight for their people
To give all they got for all
For yet nothing remains still

Change takes its toll
Fate seems to be oblivious to its call
Then suddenly a peak is form
A cloud in the sky is form.

In all its glory, oho looks down and peers
What a sight!
A pity not one will ever know Oho was here!
But still he'd like all to know he enjoyed...

Skies so blue, clouds of white as some would say
High into the air... arrogance and complacency...
Seeping into the clouds...
Heavier it puffs.. into hearts and minds

Corruption and hatred takes place
gory fields of red fill the field
A bloody toll takes its fill
A cloud of thunder approaching...

A kingdom's walls crumble to pieces
Oho falls out now he's caught
In a web of deceit he'd fought
Revenge, hatred and foolish love

The rain patters and falls
From up high we thought we last saw
From its glorious size and magnitude
To the smallest portion of humanity...

Walls fall and crumble to pieces
Swords fly high as they take their lives
Lives seem to have no price
For all is gone when the morning sun is bright

Upon the fields of red we walk,
Footsteps of fallen men and heroes alike
Oho sees - what a sight
All is gone and nothing to be seen again...

As Oho trickles down the old rusty helmet
He flows back into the trusty river
Taking the colour of his friends
Blood-filled river, floating corpses

Is that all there is to that?
Is that the cycle?

Well it repeats again...

Yet still as we speak, Oho plays a big role in a small setting...
being part of that big big cycle

The cycle that led him to destiny.

Written by Abraham

Images taken from

BIG

2005-05-18T00:36:00.000+08:00

BIG

Big is big...

BIG

but God is Bigger

Amen

Finally...

2005-05-17T02:18:00.000+08:00

Got this blog up again. Will start to post again. hopefully.

Received a call from Candy today...

Like always there would be a nice abrupt pause over the phone...

Then followed by a great resounding and really long-winded, "oh Hi, Hello!"

And over the phone, she says, "hello this is Candy how are you doing?", in a really nice fashion and really expecting something like,

"i'm great how are you?"

"you know recently I have been facing this and that... "

But all i can say is ....

Nothing.

Yup you got it...

Nothing....

Just that simple silence...

Yup you guessed it right... she broke the silence...

we are really good friends, but when someone from overseas suddenly calls you at an hour you'd never expect (12 noon), don't expect me to say anything much too...

Really sad... disappointed with myself...

Soooooo many things to say, yet when you see the person or hear the person, all you can say is...

hi... how are you doing?

I'm fine... (thinking, oh no what should i tell her? should it be this or that...) (confused, shocked)

great

and it hangs in the air...

i guess its the fact that you called that really mattered. Although you wanted to hear more, i really felt that that simple silence was all it needed to say I haven't seen you in a while and i would really like to sit down and have a chat with you.

At this point in time, communication comes to a standstill cuz you just want the person to linger with you. Though you are caught by surprise, you still do make the other party worry cuz the other party does want some answers and you are not givin it to her...

Well what can i say....

Well,

Nothing...

-- Bless One and All

Long week, busy schedules

2005-05-15T00:22:00.000+08:00

Long week, busy schedules

all part of the decisions made

a choice made to stay

time spent in the hands of me

In the eyes of the people

foolishness and folly

In their heads and minds

limited, constraint yet divine

In the arms of a father

A friend at times

queitly He calls me to Him

I linger like the incense

Smoke rises as it floats lovingly

sweet aroma from our lips

the fragrance reaches a different realm

To a different audience

The audience stands ready

Waiting for us to draw near to them

Waiting and petitions are ready

but hearts often neglect

A simple silence rains

a majestic throne that reigns

who can fathom such greatness

for but a limited mind.

Abraham

Life is so cool...

2005-04-23T01:27:00.000+08:00

Haha, thinking about everything that I have read for the past week.

every time I read a blog, emotions, thoughts and feedbacks come to my head. But very often I do not reply. I want to see what happen next. Will that individual be happy or sad or perhaps that decision that he or she made would be something different.

Its hard to explain, but the more I read about their blogs the more I cant help but to blog about their blogs. It amazes me at how people can lead lives rather aimlessly and at times rather aloof. Well maybe not all but neither do the all belong to the majority.

I am amazed at how ignorance is really bliss. I guess we are really living in a time where truth seems to hurt so much that people do not want to hear it anymore.

I saw a commentary on Britain and how the spread of HIV was growing at a fast pace. As commented by one individual, she said that life very much goes on with the scars wounded and at times visible, but people would rather brush it off then to deal with it when the time comes.

Its like life. Hiding in the four walls of your comfort zone and deluding yourself in that small lil' o shell of yours and never letting it go. As much as it is painful, letting go seems harsh.

Thinking about all these makes me wonder about life, when I think about life, I think about cycles, and double-edged swords.

Cycles
Life comes and goes in a similar fashion don't you agree?

you come with nothing and you go with nothing. Think about riches, you get the point. Think about cars and money, can I take them with me? Not really. On the verge of death where my heart is beating at its pace beyond my control, lips dry and body feeling cold and numb all over. The brain begins to slow down and soon, the uncontrollable happens...

Speech slows to audible yet choked mono-syllable and soon movements and thoughts become ever slow... Seconds to minutes and minutes to hours, time seems to be eating away everything that comes and goes. Soon day and night will seem nothing to you. The balance in your bank becomes invalid the next morning sun will be something yet in your heart you begin to look back at all the wonderful things and yet memories of unfulfilled dreams flood your head. Tears of sorrow fill those blood-shot eyes. Dull as they may be, yet you sense much emotions welling from the windows of the heart within.

Haggard and withered skin upon the face, wrinkled and filled with age. Lines of experience both of sweat and blood, love seems to be but a fleeting moment in that very point of time.

wow...

at that point in time... Like Solomon, I will say Vanity of vanity, all is vanity. Working hard and toiling all day is likened to the chasing of the wind.

Sounds as though i have been through so much, well, NOT. haha

Bless,
Abraham & his ramlings on life.

10 Days of Laziness

2005-04-18T18:09:00.000+08:00

10 days of laziness from my blog,
Letting go of every thought.
Yet try as I could, I can never understand
Why people are always so lost

In a perverse and degraded generation
What can we do except to cry.
To be in His house forever
Is not a crime

Yet contemplation often runs,
Towards a greater fun
Where sights compel us
And thoughts degrade us

In such a circumstance,
I would cry, yet tears of joy fill thy heart
This joy that I have
The world aint give it to me

Smile always be happy.

-------------------------------------------------

Ok, enough of the poetry and more of the life events. I never like to share unhappy moments, yet often, I see how people reveal expressions of remorse in their blog. It amuses me yet some how tells me how life really is...

Life is so simple, so fragile, touch it and its gone. Feel it, for you never know when its gone. To be like Mother Theresa seems tough, yet I believe that all that she does is say, "if not me, then who?"

if not me
Why should it not be up to me to make things happen?

Why in the world should we wait for things to happen before we take the initiative.

I really don't know, but I like the idea of tellin people to take charge over their lives and begin to realise the essence of life itself - giving.

In Chinese, there is a phrase that goes like this - FU WU WEI KUAI LE ZI BEN

It means: service is the essence of hapiness

To me it goes deeper. service=giving=sacrifice of time, money or even to an extreme, blood to be shed.

Lets not go through the extremes. In life we often do not go through extremes. It is often the building up of small but important(as how we percieve it) events that cause us to fall.

Perception of things are really important. If God is biggest in your life, then let it be done here on earth as it is in Heaven. As it is in the spiritual, it is in physical...

Bless,
Abraham

letting my faith lose

2005-04-09T12:06:00.000+08:00

I read through the daily devotion entitled, “Memorial Prayer”. Talks about how Jehovah God is a Provider and how we should mix our giving with our prayers to make it a sweet smelling aroma unto God and how we can use this to be effective prayer warriors and servants of God.

I do recall how I was very much impacted about a year ago on the subject of the Alter of God. As I was reading through the book of Joshua, I realised in Jos 22, how the children living in the land of Canaan (descendants of Reuben, Gad and Manasseh) wanted to build an Alter but was persecuted by the other tribes. But their intention was never to replace the alter that was built at the other side of the Jordan River. What they merely wanted was a witness.

In Jos 22:27, “…but that it may be a witness between you and us and our generations after us… that your descendants may not say to our descendants in time to come, ‘You have no part in the Lord’ ”

They were so serious with God and they were afraid that the Alter might be taken away from them. They wanted an assurance of that they had a portion of the tabernacle. I saw that attitude, it was a powerful testament – wanting to assure that even if they were taken away from the original alter, at least they built their own.

Something immediately was placed in my heart that instant when I read it. It was relevant for the devotion. Giving unto the Alter, placing a sweet smelling offering unto my Lord. Building an Alter as a witness, to remind God of how we really need Him for our daily provisions. It was something that the Israelites live with till today. Waging wars and stuff.

Giving and praying are two important things… how much will I be willing to give to receive the growth that I seek? There again, I always believe that God is a God of now for tomorrow is God’s plan and my path. So why should I worry about tomorrow?

Dear Lord, I begin to pray for strength to be a PRAYER WARRIOR. I want to feel you closer to me as I draw nearer to you. You are my provider, Jehovah Jireh. Like Cornelius, I want to prayer and give my best to you that it is a memorial sacrifice upon that Alter that I build. It is my Alter to you, for you.

Amen.

Bless,
Abraham

Long week

2005-04-09T00:12:00.000+08:00

Mood: Nuetral
Songs playing are mainly christian music...

It's been a wonderful week. And I have been slacking. Yeah rotting away like never before. With foods and stuff being pushed at my face.

Well, I have not been doing much, as in really nothing this entire week, except from the usual praying and reading there is really no motivation to do anything. Thought of working but kept on postphoning it.

Like anyone else the next best thing would be the computer and the black box. What else can one do but go online to surf and to chat. But at least I still designed my website. Wonder when I will be able to post it. I really wonder...

But apart from that I really think its fun designing my website. Never in my life i can firmly say that i have all the time to do my website.

I used to think that I hate slacking and doing nothing. But right now, my perspective's changed. To me its good to slack but only for a while.

Well, I think I betta get back to my bible reading programme...

God Bless,
Abraham

my room is clean...

2005-04-06T12:32:00.000+08:00

Been cleaning my room since yesterday. Right now have cleared the big cupboard. Only left with the things that are hidden that really need to be cleaned. Its the nook and corners that are really troublesome. Really lazy to go down there.

But anyway we'll see how things go.

God bless,
Abraham

Come Holy Spirit

2005-03-30T01:49:00.000+08:00

Song: Come, Holy Spirit (CHC)
Mood: Tired and Sleepy

Well I am tired and am having exams in like 7 hours time. Wonder if I would have the time to sleep. But anyway I just felt like taking a break from all the heavy contents of outsourcing. Really very dry to study but still I have to do it.

Not really in a good mood now. Kind of wondering if life was about accepting people or the other way round. But I shall just leave it there. I really do not want to put things up in my head again and let the world know that I am such a petty person.

But I have to admit that I am sensitive and am think too much. well maybe at times. This is especially true for people that i put much trust in. I guess I have just answered my own question. I put tons of trust in people and at time i hurt them without knowing as much as people who would hurt me.

I guess its really about balancing all those feelings and giving them to the Lord.

Wonder who will read my blog. I hardly advertise it anyway. But still its a part of me that is worth remembering.

Was reading my old diary that i used to keep. Like my blog it had many periods of blank where i did not record anything at all. And yet there are times that thoughts and emotions were all poured unto the poor book. Looking at all my past faliures in that book and all the lovey dovey stuff, it makes me really smile from ear to ear. It makes me feel stupid knowing what I said and i did at that point in time.

I must confess that I was worse off then now. At least from my point of view. I used to be very weak emotionally and was always thinking alot. I guess it will al change very soon. This is perhaps what they mean part and parcel of growing up.

I guess I will add people to my blog very soon. Gonna find all my friends who blog and gonna add them one by one. Lost em all recently and am really apologetic to all those people whose blog address i have lost. But still, if there is anyone out there whom i know that i should list here, do let me know. hehe... wonder how many names i will have here.

Anyway, gtg back to study.

Bless,
Abraham

Easter Sunday

2005-03-27T19:35:00.000+08:00

It’s a wonderful Easter Sunday filled with long rests and a cool day that great for sleeping. Well at least for me. Was lazing around at home after the long day yesterday. Did not sleep for one day and I am like super-tired.

But still I have to thank God for the gift of life that he gave during this time but only two thousand years back. He gave His only Son, Jesus to die on the cross and through the Son we acknowledge Him as our Lord and the fact that the Holy Spirit is here for us to guide us in this journey of life.

It amazes me as to how God has been so gracious to me. Every word that comes forth from me now has changed a lot since 4 years back. Although I have been a Christian for almost 15 years, since five, I was small then and did not understand His ways and life. What I learnt through bible study that Aunt May gave me at a Baptist church were simply about Jesus. I was filled with the word but hardly in the Spirit.

Well I rarely attended church as nobody told me what a church was for and how the church was going to help me grow. To me at the point in time where I was in that church, I only knew that it was boring – really boring. The songs were nice and slow and the old man over the pulpit was some missionary who had the presence of God. But at that age how could I have known about God and what more His presence.

Sure I knew who Jesus was, I knew His works, His actions, His character, His word, but I did not know Him as a friend and later in City Harvest that I got to know the Holy Spirit. But that is another story for another time.

But still I must thank God for all the things that he has shown me through all the churches I have attended and all the many things that He has taught me. I never knew that He is who He is, but now as I look back, I can see how real He was to me.

Though we walk through the many valleys, we shall not fall cause we know that Jesus will always be there for us. (Ps 23)

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. – Heb 11:1

I understand no longer by sight nor by the works of my hands, rather I seek God and all His ways to press on to that goal that I might find favour in Him. Obedience to me now at this point in time is more than a just a word of sacrifice, its as what Rev Ulf might say, ‘if you want to take up the cross, it won’t cause you something, it will cost you everything…

With this I beseech you brothers and sisters, lets fight a good fight of faith.

Bless,
Abraham

p.s Happy Easter day.

Who knows?

2005-03-26T01:32:00.000+08:00

It’s about me being just me. Ignoring the facts and reality but just being me. Well, what so special about me? I seriously do not know and do not care. It’s perhaps something that most people are doing right now.

Currently having exams and wanting so much to help the people around me like Rachel and June. Don’t ask me why they are females; rather tell me that I am just a typical guy who enjoys talking more to women about personal stuff. Not that I share anything about me, rather it’s more about them.

Like for June, she has some issues with life and is facing financial difficulty. For Rachel she too has mega issues with the life that she leads. Not that I am goanna disclose their lives to you over here. Perhaps you ay ask me who they are. Haha.

Well this brings me to my main issue for today – life. Yes, it’s the same old topic again. Something about life that I have to simply put into words. Leading a life of a Christian and trying to obey His calling over my life is not an easy task. But there are some things that never change – His enduring love for me that compels me to just lean on Him.

I feel that this world is run down. Utterly stripped off its goodness. Nothing in this world would be able to hold me down except for the very breath that I have and not forgetting the Lord. Well, through His mercy and grace I am able to lead a life that I chose to lead. Not that it’s the same as everybody’s, but somewhat special to me.

In life we have so many decisions and many obligations. Yet we have to make that very decision no matter how big or small they may be. I was told that decisions we make today would not come empty handed– it will come back and make us on the very next day. To me decisions are very much inevitable. And like all things inevitable, its not what comes, rather what you do to it that really matters.

If you are reading this now, whether I know you or not, I seriously want to tell you that there is a God out there who cares for you and loves you no matter what you have done. He is real and wants to know you in a physical way and to fill your needs. I am facing many trials and yet in that bitterness I sense much peace and freedom and a sense of direction.

Its hard, but we have to do it. Like Nikes own slogan, “Just Do It”.

We have to do it. However I am very much surprised that people often take these things for granted and allow the effects of society (made by men, enforced by stereotypes, established through time) as a reason when I feel that its more like a lie or an excuse or perhaps wanting to achieve some form of balance in their life.

I sound a little cynical here, but seriously speaking, I want people out there to know how important it is to be balanced.

Who in this world does not like balance?

But who would want to seek that balance that is tough? Is it not easier to conform to the standards laid by men? Or perhaps something that is simple?

…Laid bare, stripped off all uncertainty – I lay dazed by the things that I have uttered…

Bless,Abraham

Deeper hurt

2005-03-12T01:06:00.000+08:00

Theres a deep hurt,
You cannot see
You cannot feel yet so close
It drips out of you

You take it everyday
Closer and closer to you
One time, as it seems
Takes you away from reality

At your bed each night
You see your flesh in its glory
One time, you think is all it needs
But soon it becomes more than what you need.

Each time you think of it
It haunts you even while you sleep
A blade, a knife, a tool
Well who cares, it cuts, it's cool

A simple action, yet different pleasures
A sudden gush of pleasure... ahh
My pain seems real, at least I can see it
Better than things unseen

Upon the atmosphere of self-pity
I see you on that bed a-crying
It takes you all, you are overwhelmed
But all I can say to you is c'mon board

But your heart is hurt, you cannot deny
That all has been taken from you
Your body the only tool,
Your hands free to do as they choose

The blade was all you got
and down it went right at that spot
You served your time at that moment
your Flesh was split at that very moment

Its hard to concieve
Yet blood oozes out for you to see
To believe in yourself than reality
To escape from hurt of the insanity

One time,
Two time,
Three of more
I cannot concieve the deeper hurt
You have accumulated for so long...

A child late at night looks upon her hand
A cleanly done job I must confess,
But still its better than knowing the pain will go
But that deeper hurt will never go.

So again in that same spot,
You see her again, with that blade
To cut her out of immorality of deceit
Foolishness as it may seem to many
Yet she does not care, no its nothing

Hiding it from publicity
She goes about normally,
But each night as she would go...
A blade was all she needs

Fire Forest

2005-03-07T17:53:00.000+08:00

Fire...

Its on fire....

The trees they are on fire
Thoughts like wild fire
Smoke in the air
Choking thick air

Confusion...

animals scattering to and fro
Cannot think, cannot breathe
Stuck into the morality of society
Its all a fake, bluff, insanity

Lies.

Thick smoky lies, Lies of all sizes,
like snake who bite behind us
Stuck between two worlds,
Heads corrupted, men swindled
Alls lost, Alls gone...

Yet I yearn for the fire to be put out.

He's here, somebody...
I know it... I feel it....
Yet in my darkest hour i can't see him
I'm blinded by the smoke
The smoke of deciet

Men, lies, insanity, chaos
Blindness, darkness,
who can tell? Who will go?
What will I be? I don't know

Alls a mess, it cannot be the test
No, I don't believe, yet reality sets it in
Like thorns into my flesh,
Blood trickles, thick and fresh
It falls wasted unto the ground

The fire runs wild...
Who really knows what will happen?
Who really cares about the world
I don't know, I'm blinded from despair

In a world where hate, lust, deceit all fall in place
Its sad to see how people live
To live without a single cause
Away from the provider, striken of boils

Yet no matter how hard I see
No matter how tought this journey may seem
No matter how foolish I am
No matter what happens to thee

The light still beams unto me.
This love, I cannot concieve
Was bored out of suffering
This love I see, its bright new and holy

That body, mutilated beyond, recognition
Sweat, blood, flesh dried up,
What a sight this is
In His effort to grasp for air
In His might to fight the crowd

And pain knew no pain for all was numb
Numb beyond compare, numb for our sakes
For all who cared...

At the final moment,
when it was done,
all he could say was,

Let it be done.

Thinkin about you

2005-03-07T17:46:00.000+08:00

I'm thinkin about you
I'm feeling so lost
In a man-made world
Where things are imperfect

I cant blame you
I cannot force myself
In a man-made world
Where things are imperfect

Where I dream day and night,
About the many things
Hoping to be the one that you need
Longing for all the happiness within
Open up my heart
To all the beautiful things

I opened up my heart
Was hurt by the many things
In a man-made world
Where things are imperfect

I stayed strong only to be broken
I tried so hard yet forgetten
In a man-made world
Where things are imperfect

For the many things we say or do,
Its not about us, its not about you
For the many things we go through,
Its all because of one purpose, one destiny,
Hand in hand,
For you
and me.

Friends.

A month or so

2005-01-31T03:39:00.000+08:00

It has been a long time since I last blogged. I said I wanted to do something about my blog, but I never got a chance to do so. Perhaps time and energy are really two valuable things in my head right now. So many things have happend since the last month till now. Yet it still lingers in my head and can't seem to get it out...

But more importantly, I really wish for myself to be able to have more discipline to really do things that I need to do and not want to do. Perhaps life would be better that way. But I do have my interest and would like for it to be done. But what I have realised after being in church for so long now is that I really want to fufill God's calling in my life.

How do I do that? I really do not know but well, lets put all the religion stuff aside today, if possible, lets talk about life. About where life means to me. About why I never seem to be able to take God out of my life no matter how hard my carnal flesh tries. Its easy for people who have never stepped into CHC before and never got integrated to leave God. But for me its different. I sensed God before when I was young, real young.

It was like 8 years ago...

I was there in a family church where this pastor was a missionary from some unknown place. He was old. Really old and had fine hairy head of hair which went all about the place. But at that age all you know is that he is called pastor so and so but above and beyond that, he was just a plain old man. But from my point of view, he was rather respected and I could always see him in the front of all pictures taken. Reckoned that he could have been someone really important. But I really could not care less. Ignorant -- that i was.

Like I was saying, it was some old, obsecured church off inside a plot of private housing estates. It looked more like a school rather than a church. But well, I was told it was a church, so it is one. It had this olden look with round staircases and faded coat of painting which seriously looked worn and tattered. But overall the building was made for kids like us in mind, everything was small the only things that were big were meant for the adults so it was not meant for us.

As christians we must be obedient. That was what was taught when I was small. When I was small, they also told me to read my bible, pray everyday and also to thank him for all he's done. But they never did told me how to pray. Perhaps they did, but I never followed. Was too occupied with my stuff that I probably did not care at all.

But right now I really want to do all these things. But sometimes, as the bible says, "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." So how do I get over all these fleshly temptations? But others may say, why get rid of it, its good for you. Contridictory right?

Well, life is full of em anyway.

On to my story. I have just described the building, I have yet to tell you about the people over there. its not that I wish to laugh at their dress sense but at that point in time, it was really funny. And usually it was my sister and I who went there to have our bible study lessons with my mum's friend. Well, the people there are really cool...

For females, we have lady contestant number one, black covered sole shoes with NO platform or heels and a lacy stocking to complement it. Of course we do not forget the huge dress that goes down all the way to the heel. With purple floral designs and extragvagant washing, we have it faded and perhaps if they can have a new one, then it will be slightly faded. With a face filled with thick makeup like red, red lipstick and to fiish it all a wonderful, "eye full" thick, rimmed glasses.

hehe.. I know I'm pushing it.

Well on to the guys. The guys are not really that bad, the only thing I cannot stand was the fact that everything in the church really looked old. That was the first and only church I attended when I was small.

Anyway, I was never committed to that church. But right now, I do feel bad not being faithful there. But now I am faithful to a single church.

Let us carry on another time... I am really tired.

Bless,
Abraham

A long long time...

2004-12-11T01:21:00.000+08:00

Hello,

It has been a while since I last blogged. Getting used and trying to get accustomed to my new PC. Trying to stuff every software in and also trying to ensure that my HDD is free from virus. Its really wonderful to have a PC that is fast enough to meet with the current demands and ontop of that I am really satisfied with what I have and will soon consider placing in more fans to cool down the system. I do not want my system to reach a point of melt down. I know it won't but I just want to make things better.

These few weeks my mind has been moving much. With thoughts about my faith and questioning why it seems almost impossible to be perfect and the meaning to be. Well, it took me some time to realize that the main problem was not bout the fact of being perfect, it was really me that had lost my faith for a while.

Well, don't look at me with a frown, sometimes we do experience our downs and out and it really makes this journey exciting. Its like knowing what I can really live for and living it out. Its not goin to be easy but I know I will try and try.

In a way by saying it all out, I enjoy the joy of releasing like in some approach that will relieve the pain of contemplation and contradiction. Aren't those words really familiar and doesn't it resound in the ear and at the back of your head you say: " I know some one like that".

Right now I in a jumpy mood listening to bossa nova and I am totally clueless as to what they are singing but it sounds really groovy and enticing. Like in some laid back trance where you sit back with your glass of wine on the white sandy beaches and the waves aimlessly grabbing the shore bringing the sand back to the sea. And the best part about it is that I am relaxed.

Bless,
Abraham

Thoughts of the hour

2004-12-06T14:44:00.000+08:00

Small Entry for today.

2004-12-06T09:44:00.000+08:00

I need a computer, seriously needing. wonder if I can ever get one at the way things are going. Quitting my job soon for my ministry and also partly becasue I am really tired...

Well, still I'm happy at the way thigns are.

:) God Bless,
Abraham

Abraham's weird day at work.

2004-12-02T08:50:00.000+08:00

I am not myself. I can't think. I can no longer hold out. I want to break free from the bondage of work. Is work really bondage?

How can one ever realise that work was only a perception of our thoughts? I always tell myself that I should always be the one to influence the environment and not the other way around. It turns out that actually I am putting a wall in front of others and me.

It is so easy to understand why people get all so defensive when maintaining their stance. We will always have legalistic tendacies. It is an unavoidable thing that is really huamn to err. All these and that for a dollar or two. What a waste to the human kind. Who are really trying to protect at the end of the day? DO we really know where we are heading? do we say what we mean?

Well, a blog is really good for me to SHOUT OUT! deep in my heart I know I can try and try again, and I do wish to try, but it ain't easy. But I really wonder how I am able to resist for such a long time...

forget about what I say this day for I ain't myself today.

Abraham

Simple Silence

2004-11-26T13:43:00.000+08:00

Its all about the simple silence,
The thought of going deep.
The thought of flying
Yet rooted deep within

I feel a sense of belonging
Yet a greater sense of yearning
To be with the one I love,
Jesus, that comes like a dove.

The stillness in the air cripples
The anxiety fills every corner
Darkness creeps from every wall
The place seems to be getting small.

I feel like an ant,
Ready to be trampled by every men
Upon their feet they recklessly stomp
I feel the pain of their foolishness - what a thought!

It will never be the same again
The thought of the wind that flows
The gentle and caressing blow,
The destructive forces untold.

Like the flower beautiful and bright,
Fragile it holds that spirit of life.
See it wither upon its death,
The folly of men made its pact.

For who or what ,
Who really cares,
The life we lead
Was n'er complete,
What shall we do,
What can we say,
When all's a big game play.

Yet who's the boss that calms it all
Upon that rock He smiles on down
That simple silence of peace and love
Extents to the deepest, darkest souls.

I feel a passion of this life
Sweet,
Simple,
Silent,
Unkind.

But to say that life's a bore,
Would be too great a chore
For all has been given
And all has been heard
Fear the Lord
And keep his commandments

Abraham
(c)2004

Computer woes

2004-11-16T13:48:00.000+08:00

Hello,

Its so sad. I am so sad. My computer is down and out. Hard disk crashed. All my files are gone!

Bless,
Abraham

The Case for a Creator

2004-10-26T01:59:00.000+08:00

Hello,

It has been about four days since I last came in here. Todays entry will very much focus on a book that I have read. The case for a creator.

This book was written by Lee Strobel in his search for the existence of a Creator. On top of that that Lee also discusses topics on science and religion and how it intertwines rather than both ebing different entities. I must say that he has put it very well to the audience by providing layman terms for each scientific explanation.

I love the way he builds up his case and how he plans for his interviews. It shows the amount of effort and time put into each of his books. I also love the way he writes. It is concise yet descriptive to its every detail. It really challenges the mind and allows you to break free from the normal traditions of thought.

It may seem hard to chew when you begin to read this book. But once you have started, Lee will ensure that you get hooked to its every page. Like a drink, you will want to drink it down to its last sip. I would sincerely recommend this book to anyone who loves to read on science and the case of the existence of a creator.

Bless,
Abraham

First day at work...

2004-10-22T13:01:00.000+08:00

hi,

right now I am at work having my lunch break and it really is demoralizing to see how each customer that I call are mostly busy at this point in time. But never the less I will try harder to strive for my goal. At least one completed form by today. Although it is my first day, I do wish to do well.

The people at the company are all fun people some with great night lives lingering around the fun of the night. This somewhat does not appeal to me and as much as I can understand the fun that they have, I guess I will never be a part of that team that really goes to the places that they go. Its a different lifestyle altogether.

So many thoughts about work, but they are not really that bad. The team leader is really good and it is fun to be in a team where people are all fun and free. But I must take note also of the things that they do here. Things like smoking and the lifestyles that they have. It cannot be said or graded as bad, rather something else. I can only say that it is their life. Things like smoking do not appeal to me.

But as long as people do not smoke when I am around, it is fine with me. But when ever I see a lady smoking, my heart fills sad for them. It seems as though hey have wasted their life away on a simple addiction. Talking about addiction, it really is very real. To some extent we are all "addicted". This addiction I am talking about in my point of view is the addiction of God.

Why do I say I am addicted to him. It really is simple to know why I am. Being fervent and on fire for Him is one thing. But the real reason is the fact that I cannot deny what He has done in my life and how He has made me who I am today. For all the things that I have and could ever achieve, there is only one thing that I want. I want to be with Him.

He never lets me down when I am in times of need, and He loves me to the core that I cannot deviate my devotion to some other beliefs for I would have committed adultery. It is a very real thing today. Not only do we commit adultery to the people around us, even to God. It is so simple to brush aside these topics when you are in the world. But as Pastor always says, "we are in this world but not of this world."

Not being in this world brings me to another point where I feel committed to Christ. It is a new life that I lead. One that is not for anyone else, rather for God and for the people around me. The life that I have, I live to eat His word, breathe His word, etc.

I love Him too much to hurt Him, yet I know that as Christians there is a standard that says that we are good. And everyone knows it. But what most people do not know is how Christians can do it and how we can bring it to a level where we are really close to Him. I do not deny that I am not perfect, rather through my imperfection, I gain all things through Christ who strengthens me and how through His grace, we are perfected.

Bless,
Abraham

Oh happy day... (first ever 1000 word essay)

2004-10-21T23:18:00.000+08:00

Hi,

Exams are over. Well I only had like 2 papers. So it does not really add the stress level. Although I must say that the last week of studies was really trying for me. It was the time where I had so many deadlines to meet. To make matters worse, I had 3 tests to study for. Well for the last semester, I was taking 6 modules. Of which only two are examinable. The remaining 4 are based very much on tests and projects. With tests taking up to 40% for such a module, it is really stressful. But on the whole, I must say that it really is very fulfilling too.

Apart from exams I am doing many things right now. Life has not really stopped for me. I feel as though it has just begun. It is the time of the year again where I can design my website for fun, start gearing up for cell group and our Christmas celebrations, etc. t really is fun knowing that I can never find a time when I am really bored. Exams are over but work has arrived.

Praise the Lord! Immediately after my exams I received a phone call regarding a job offer; and it is paying rather well. At least it is better than what I have always earned like 5 bucks per hour. I am so grateful to the Lord about the events that have happened. In fact I really have so much to talk about today that I really do not know where to start. Since today was really fun, I shall start in chronological order from this morning.

Well, let me begin. In the afternoon, I was busy doing my website. I wonder how my website is now. The colours are really off and I do wish to change it. But if I were to change it again, it would take a lot of time to design, slice, and think of the content and stuff life that so I really wanted a good one. Perhaps I will take a look at the design again and see what I can do about it.

Well so in the afternoon, was designing my web, then later I had to go for job training. Well although my job environment is good. The people there are fun and are really family oriented in their workplace. However, I must say that location still bothers me. Well, maybe just that little bit. Anyway it is going to be a fun job doing telemarketing. Well so I was there doing job training.

The job training was really boring. I went into the office and saw two other guys who were like 10 years my senior and I thought they were going for some job interview for a manager. They wore a long sleeve shirt and one even wore a tie. But for me as the job offer was referred to from my school, I thought it was going to be something less formal. So I felt rather stupid. But it was cool, the guys were nice and nothing ate me up… guess it was really the work of the mind.

We were supposed to fill in a form and met in the function room later for a briefing. According to the MD of the company, we were the cream of the crop. We were sort of like phone interviewed and were short listed as potential team leaders. So over here I want to thank God again for giving me the opportunity to work at a place where I was deemed as a quality good. It feels really good when someone says that the team that was there was “the” team.

Well about the team, it was including the two other guys who had like so many years of experience. I felt even more shy and wondering what it would take for me to even compete with them for sales. What more they have like so much experience. I really want to do well over at the call centre and I must really do it well to be a shining testimony for Christ. Amen!

Well there was also another girl that was there who was also deemed as A grade. SO the 4 of us including a team leader would be in the assignment for the next 5 to 6 weeks. It’s going to be good. We may even get an opportunity to call Australia and this is going to be fun. Oh yes, I have not told you about the product. We will be calling up companies to promote Pacific Internet and how it has risen up to a B2B (Business to Business) company. Well that’s all there is to that.

The training was filled with so many technical jargons; all the GRE, MVLP, and stuff like that simply made my head spin round and round. It was interesting to see how later the MD stood up for us. He was telling the trainer and the Regional Director of Pacific Internet that technical parts were not important in this function of the telemarketer and that what should be done in the marketing itself. Which I felt was true to some extent. Well how it is true I shan’t discuss it.

Now I can finally move on to the next event – our brothers gathering. It has been eight months since there was a meeting in the cell group. The cell group has been slacking in terms of its unity and how we really need to rise up to bring it all back together. Well six of us, Glenn, Ivan, Desong, Andrew, Suin Yong and me; all went out for fellowship. At first I felt that there was a lot of hostility and a little bit of tension. But after the dinner, the whole environment changed. It was as though there was a certain presence and closeness that I have never felt before between the brothers.

There was something that was not present for a long time and something that would draw everyone back into the same closeness and intimacy. It was something that could touch people’s hearts and something that could meet needs that have never been met. All these things just started flowing and there was a common mind and something in the air that just felt good. It was made better after a unique prayer group in a secluded car park that was warm and humid and smelly, but there was nothing that was going to stop us from praying.

With our hearts united and minds set on a common goal, the cell group, we started praying a short but quiet prayer. It was something so real, so funny yet it made the whole day change for the better, everybody’s mood has changed and it made an impact in many of our lives that day. It was really the presence of the Lord that filled us and made us know that when we go our separate ways, this coming Saturday, we are going to take ownership of our cell group.

Bless,
Abraham

Exams!

2004-10-19T01:01:00.000+08:00

Hi,

it has been a while. Have been busy with my exams. But fingers are getting really itchy. Well, there are just too many things that need to be done. Praying for a good week ahead with the previous week really trying for me. Well its a new chapter.

Exams, some people just hate it. But for me it really is a good time to see how you fare. It is like a mirror that shows you how you have done. It makes education the way it really is. Like life, sometimes, when we make decisions, we think that we are the ones that make it. However what many fail to see is how the same decisions would turn around and make us. It would really determine who we are.

Never have I felt so strongly about exams and how I am going to fare for it. I have been studying, but I feel that it is not hard enough. Having learnt the art of pushing myself to study, I really feel good knowing that I have tried hard, but not hard enough. I never used to be like this. My life was very much like a slacker. I know that many a times we are like this till we really wake up and see how time flies only then will we realise that time waits for now men.

But I have a philosophy. That is if time is going so fast many a times I feel that it is not about time waiting for no one. It is just that time has no feelings and won't stop to see how you really are. The reason being that we are often against time. Picture this, when we say something like I will do this later. Very often we make this promise to time. But afterwards you forget it and you blame time for it. "I don't have enough time", a common phrase heard...

So you see, we do not cherish the time that we have. But if we learn to take a step back, we would realise that it is actually not that difficult to take time to do the things that we need to do. So exams are coming, I want to pray for these people taking their o levels:

Benjamin
Geraldine
Jeromy
Maybelline
Perlie
Chun hua
Mei ping
Rachel
Yuling
Chia Hui
Shi si
Cammille
Jacquline
(if your name is not inside here and I know you and you want me to pray for you, mail me

Well, this is just my way of saying that I care. Well, nuturing people is good. It makes you feel real good. :)

God Bless,
Abraham

Two Less Lonely People

2004-10-13T03:59:00.000+08:00

Hello,

Welcome back. In the midst of exams, head is swelling with an overload of information... hehe, Oh Lord, save me.

Mood: sleepy, tired and really calm.

TWO LESS LONELY PEOPLE
(howard greenfield, ken hirsch)
I was down my dreams were wearing thin
When you’re lost where do you begin
My heart always seemed to drift from day to day
Looking for the love than never came my way

Then you smiled and I reached out to you
I could tell you were lonely too
One look then it all began for you and me
The moment that we touched I knew that there would be

(chorus)
Two less lonely people in the world
And it’s gonna be fine
Out of all the people in the world
I just can’t believe you’re mine

In my life where everything was wrong
Something finally went right
Now there’s two less lonely people In the world tonight
Just to think what I might have missed

Looking back how did I exist I dreamed,
still I never thought I’d come this far
But miracles come true, I know ’cause here we are

Was d/l this song from imesh, then when I heard this song, I was really touched. When I listen to secular songs, I have the tendacy to put God in the picture. If people can love each other to the extent they write songs like these, then the song that I wanna write to God must be even better then the songs.

But when I cam across this song, I can't stop listening to it. The lyrics are so beautiful. Two people.

For me, the people were never the people, except for me and the Holy Spirit.

You can say that I am weird or just a Christian freak. its one of the few songs that I really like and have deep thoughts about it. Another song that could be it would be Air supply's Goodbye and Beatles, first of May. Kinda like an oldies person. But the more I hear those songs I would fall in love with them instantaneously.

So many things happened... wonder when I can really take a break. I have not lost my vision and what I really want. All I know I can do is to really sit and wait for time to show me what God has in store for me. No matter how hard I try to tell God, what I want, I know that it really is not about his timing, rather it was more of me.

Many times I was not ready to take advantage of the opportunities that were present. Being ready does not mean that when it comes then I get ready, it means that I must always be ready... But right now... I am really sad.
Depressing moods coming over me. This is really unlike me. People know me a someone who is bright, crazy, optimistic. Well, I do have my fair share of ups and downs. But this is just of those periods that everything down starts crumbling down. Not that I am terribly affected, rather quite sick of it...

But I know I will get better. Things have just begun to look better for me... By his grace.

FIRST OF MAY
When I was small,
and Christmas trees were tall,
we used to love while others used to play.

Don't ask me why,
but time has passed us by,
someone else moved in from far away.

Now we are tall,
and Christmas trees are small,
and you don't ask the time of day.

But you and I,
our love will never die,
but guess who'll cry come first of May.

The apple tree that grew for you and me,
I watched the apples falling one by one.
And as I recall the moment of them all,
the day I kissed your cheek and you were gone.

Now we are tall, and Christmas trees are small,
and you don't ask the time of day.
But you and I, our love will never die,
but guess who'll cry come first of May.

When I was small,
and Christmas trees were tall,
do do do do do do do do do ...

Don't ask me why,
but time has passed us by,
someone else moved in from far away.

Well, some sad lyrics to accompany this moment of Abraham's melancholy
Bless, Abraham

Changes to my blog

2004-10-11T15:23:00.000+08:00

Hello,

This two weeks will be filled with exams, but i do wish to change my blog skin and to really learn more about XML, CSS and XHTML. Wanna do up my own skin and hopefully by the time my hols are over, i am done.

After my exams are over I will be working on my website and blog. May continue to use blogger.com. Will see what happens then.

Bless,
Abraham

Revelation of Love

2004-10-08T01:35:00.000+08:00

Hello,

Hi, let me share with you a new revelation. A revelation where everything went wrong but only Jesus went right. This few weeks has been trying for me and I know that it is because I have been focusing too much on my personal studies and forsaking God's time alone with me.

Even so right now, I know that I am not supposed to be doing here, but I really want to share God being so good to me. After this, I will pray to him.

Its so easy to take God for granted. Sometimes too easy. For me, it's easy. Just gimme all the projects I need, and vroom, off I go to the computer and zoom, the time passes by so fast. I couldn't even see it coming. Just on Tuesday alone I was doing the report the whole night. Next day I went to school without any sleep.

What happened was that when I went to school, I took the train and I woke up halfway though my journey to find myself missing my destination. So I had to take the train to the other station. I walked out to the other side of the train station feeling very tired sleepy and even grouchy. Man was I tired. But something kept telling me since that day, Abraham, Abraham where are you?

The best part was actually I did not want to hear that. I seriously did not want to know how to get back. I was really too tired to do anything else. That was how weak I was. But now as I slowly reflect, even now, I see why it is so important to really know who he is... to seek his face. Its amazing how strong the oppression gets each day. I really feel so tired and am not doing well, yet I know in my heart that I don't wanna give up. Its really time for me to wake up.

Now on to that revelation... You see, when you are so busy, you tend to overlook the things which are simple yet easy to do. But by forsaking the little things, you forsake the journey to the bigger things. Its the way His kingdom works. I have stumbled, I was stumbled, but something just pushed me along. But thank God, it will all be over by this Saturday. I will be having my study break.

I really want you to know that at the end of the day, its not about me, I myself (holy trinity), rather its ALL about Jesus. I would like to lay my hands on that book by Max Lucado, Its All About Jesus. I think I got the title right...

Should I continue?

To make matters worse, I have something going on between me and Alvin and Candy. Some major battles in each of our lives. I wonder who will emerge stronger. But I know something, I will emerge stronger. I have to. It seems like the friendship that we have is lost. But I think God says later not now. But who can really know His will for our lives. But there is one thing I am certain of, He will not leave me alone to do the things that I can't handle...

Distracted... Disobedient... Dismay... Disgusted... Discharged... etc.

Kinda messed up and screwed up now. In psalms there is a verse that goes, "He makes all things beautiful in His time..." Let it all be beautiful when its done.

Lost my mood to type further... :) Smile!

Bless,
Abraham

Teamwork

2004-10-05T17:53:00.000+08:00

Hello,

This week despite being busy, I am rather surprised that it was all done pretty well. It was really the time I learnt the power of teamwork once again. So now I shall share on my thoughts of team work. I find that I do have many thoughts on many things and this never seems to run dry.

Well, before I get distracted, let me get unto it.

Teamwork - What a wonderful word. Sometimes you get to lead sometimes you don’t. At times some people really do not care, yet at times I feel I care too much. Although I know that it is almost difficult to find the best group that suits you, I do know for a fact that it is really important.

During the week, I have 5 projects and 2 tests to rush. Just imagine the intensity and pressure that one can face during this period. It is terrible. But I must admit, it was stretching and fulfilling. Knowing that the team is working together, no one is too stretched or too stressed. Well, I must thank God for such wonderful teams in this period. Although it started out poor, things are getting better now.

It must be all the times that we spent on the projects thru’ out the semester. It was hard being with them, yet something kept you going. It is so easy to do it when you are studying and when you are young. But when you are old, you might note that things may no longer be as what they seem to be.

This would be the case for many teams that I see. It’s wonderful to see the energy and synergy of the group when they are in action. For me, it’s like rushing out a report and presentation in one night and all went well.

It might never be the case for you, for this is my thoughts that I share with you. It can change, it may never, but it doesn’t matter. What’s most important is we are together.

Bless,
Abraham

Long, lag time

2004-10-02T03:58:00.000+08:00

Hello,

It is 4 am in the morning and I am not sleeping. Rashes are accumulating on jmy skin, I really feel irritated and do not know what I should do. Will be seeing the doc tommorrow. But wonder if I can wake up in time so I do not have to wait for the long queues. Right now am also having a flu with sleepy eyes. Its amazing that the computer can do to you. Well, anyway its not that my blog is dead, rather its me. I could not stand the skin, so i thought I would do one myself. But the whole thing on this blog is that we cannot use class tags unless we post it on our personal server, but nevertheless, I will try it again. anyway, here a look at the design i have.

hehe, quite nice right? I kinda like it. But I know I will have the tendacy to throw away my design as I would most prob get tired of it. Its under the theme of the movie, The Passion for Christ. I love that movie, but I love the meaning behind the movie even more. Can't stop cryin out as to how they treated Jesus man.. it was so real, like as though you can feel it. For those who have not watched it, please do watch it, but please be reminded that you must be 18 and above. But I do wonder, when censors are set, how often do kids really listen, all they gotta do is to ask someone for a favor and bam, its in their hands and in the covenient form of a copied CD...

Its really sad to see such things happening... ok i'm getting really tired.

Oh ya, i was doing some personality tests a few days back and I came across something interesting, log on here to find out... http://personal.ansir.com/cubegame.htm

Be blessed,
Abraham

Friends

2004-09-25T03:00:00.000+08:00

Hello,

How have you been? This week has been rather eventful. After the thinking week was over, this week has been rather eventful with quite a handful of experiences I must say.

As I look at the number of posts I have, I was stunned to see only 13. But when I took a look at the number of words written, I thought to myself, “Boy. Am I naggy…?” But that’s another story to tell for another day.

Today, I wish to talk about who are the real friends in my life.

I remember what my friend told me on how she was being choosier over the people whom she calls friends. Like everyone else, she does the normal ritual of playing card and sorting them out into different categories. Like who are the normal “hi-byes” and sometimes the really close and important ones.

Of course the answer she gave me was that I was important. Hehe, anyway that will be another story for another day. Yes, back to my main topic on friends. To me my friends are few, and that’s real good. You can focus your attention unto them for most of your time. It is really tiring to “tend” to all your friends.

I was browsing through Friendster a few days back, and I noticed how many people my friends Rachel knew – almost 400 plus. And she tells me that she would take the time to go out with them. She is the real publicist. Looking for someone to do PR, she’s the one for it.

Well, to her it’s really nothing, but even so, she finds it tiring. It’s amazing what people can do. Sometimes they tell you they are tired of doing something, yet they continuing doing it. I do admit that at times I can really be like that, well, I try hard.

Friends not only have to be few, they have to be good. I used to have a real close friend, but then after a misunderstanding, our friendship collapsed and the whole deal was gone. But right now as I look back, it has been almost 4 years of misunderstanding. At least for now we are talking, but somehow, I know that it can never return to the point where we first started. It can happen, but it will take some more time.

Knowing each other too well, is also not good. Friends should learn to keep some distance. This way they can slowly discover their pals step by step and this is more exciting. Well, perhaps the only reason why the misunderstanding occurred was because I knew her too well. Well enough to hurt her. But if you are going to ask me how it all happened, I can only say, “It’s a long story…”

Its about time to put in my last point for today, which is friends can never last forever, but it can be built to last a long time. So this is why, I take more time to find, build and to furnish each friendship that I have.

Bless,
Abraham

The paper bag fell...

2004-09-22T17:23:00.000+08:00

Hello

Tuesday morning was cool. I chat with Candy for like ages. My cell group leader is going to say it is not wise. But I hardly get to talk to her. That day I spoke to her was like after a month. But we both agreed that perhaps the timing could change.

Well something out of the blue happened and I cannot hide it, I have to tell the world about this event that happened. It all started when Candy and Alvin wanted to celebrate my birthday on Monday. Well, let me begin from the morning…

In the morning:
I was preparing for my lesson at 3am on Monday morning and was really tired, but something just kept me going on. School started at like 10am and I was there really early to do some quick revision for my test on human resource development. It was really boring, but I just love studying.

Then after the test, I went to the canteen to meet Candy and Alvin. Well, we tried finding a room for us to celebrate my birthday. Well, we ended going to Woodlands and celebrated at BK instead. It was great; I received presents and even got a cake. Well that’s what friends are for.

During this period of time, Candy was really quiet. However, she did tell me later that she felt oppressed as the devil was distracting her in one of her low moments.

On the phone:
1am
On the phone, I talked and chatted with her for a while, and soon it started getting harder for us to chat as we seriously felt a heavy oppression upon the place. The atmosphere was tense as though something big had happened and with this in mind, we sort of led into a time of prayer.

By this time it was about 2am and we were really tensed. So I started praying and I seriously felt heavy upon my heart and it was like something was stopping me. I was breathing so hard, it was like fighting some battle and I tried so hard to tell myself that through Christ all things are possible and started telling the Lord to pull me through.

At one point in time, my heart was so heavy I could not talk, it was not fear, rather something pressing against my chest and throat that made me breathless. At first I was praying for the many things like the atmosphere. But after this point in time, I started casting the devil out of the place. It was so late and I really shouted so loud…

Then I realized, he fought harder with me. So I cursed him and bind him like what Rev. Mike Connell would do, but in the end, Candy told me that she felt relieved and she apparently saw the devil being cast out of a particular window. And sure enough the paper bag left standing at that same window had fallen while I was praying.

Cool and exciting.

Bless
Abraham

The Resolute Decision

2004-09-19T23:14:00.000+08:00

Hello,

Welcome back. I am back to normal and I feel good after a long chat with Candy. Too bad I do not have pics to show you how she looks like but she is really close to me and so am I to her. We have been friends for some time now and its really good to catch up with her again. Although I know I am supposed to pray now, I really wanted to share something that has really impacted me today.

I do not know how many people actually come here to read my blog, and neither am I gonna put up a tracker to find out who comes and who does not. To me its not really important. Whats most important is that I get to open up my views and also to help myself. If you do not know, blogging actually helps you. It promotes self -awareness and opens up a whole new world where people can know your thoughts without ever meeting you.

Well, the resolute decision I have made since primary 6 was to follow after Jesus. To lay down my all and give him all that I have. It may seem crazy and pointless, but let me give you some thoughts as to why I followed him.

1. He is perfect

I need someone who is not only good sometimes, but all the time. Only God in that sense can pupil this criteria. It is always good to know that some supreme being in this world overlooking us and taking care of our every need.

2. He is everywhere

He is always everywhere, this allows me to keep in contact with him for 24 hrs a day 7 days a week. Its really cool to know that you are never alone in times of troubles and need.

3. He is like a father

My God, My Father who art in heaven... Hehe. Well he will be my role model to follow after. Without a role model to follow we will be leading meaningless lives.

4. With God ALL things are possible

In year one of my diploma, me friends all know me as Mr "nothing is impossible". But this is only the case when I have a God of all possibilities

5. With God I never have to worry about stress or sadness

He is there like a blanket who will cover you when you are weak. If you like a pillow better, then He will give His beloved rest. If you like your bolster, run to him and He will embrace you in His arms.. You get what I mean.

6. With God I can be assured that I have a purpose in life.

To build a church with a strong spiritual atmosphere of faith and purity where every member is released into ministry, discipled in the great commandment to obey the great commission. heh, this is my church mission statement and this is very much part of my life now.

7. Lastly, HE makes my life so much more simpler.

In terms of finance, he tells me what I do with it, so I need not worry. Give and it will be given back unto you. In terms of weekends, I do not have to worry about where I should go. Rather, my weekends are devoted to God my friend and very present help in times of need.
heh :)

Well, so there you have it the resolute decision of Abraham.

Bless,
Abraham

Oh... Book of Hebrews

2004-09-17T01:00:00.000+08:00

Hello,

I am so excited. It was only on Wednesday that I went to a bible study - Going On To Perfection. It was really exciting to see the people and everyone there. The lesson was great, the atmosphere was great, just that the lessons there was a little bitsy warm and the place was rather awkward. But other than the location, everything was good.

Well I have decided to pen down the experience here to tell you how it was like. It was really exciting for me as this book on perfection taught me so much even on the first lesson. To all my friends at City Harvest Church do take time to go through this bible study. I know it may be though on your schedules, but it really is worth it.

Well, here's how it went. I met my friend Andrew at the MRT at 7, but I was there late as I overslept on the way there. It was really tiring for me as on that day itself I had already woken up early for my lessons, but nothing could stop me from going there. My spirits were high, but rather restless and moody from the drowsiness from the sleep on board the train. When you are tired, you can sleep anywhere. :)

Well I was out there alone with Andrew and the rest were not coming, so we left the station to look for Glenn at the other side of Douby Gaut MRT, where he would be coming from Ponggol. Well, all was great, and looking for Bayview Hotel was a piece of cake with our trusty road map. If it were me, I would have gotten lost. Poor me, I am so not used to the city area. I hardly ever go there. Infact, if you were to ask me about a certain place, I can tell you I know about the place and perhaps what they sold. But I would not be able to tell you how you can exactly get there.

Well, some things just never change. Bad habit o' mine. :p

So we got there, without knowing where the venue was, but anyway, we met our cell group members, Jensen and Benjamin there. He really looks like one of our church pastors. But that's another story to tell.

When we got to the hotel, we saw the number of people assembled there in some big gathering at a modest location. It was really small, and could not hold the number of people who were there. The people showed up in big numbers. I think it was not the people. More likely, the size of the hotel. But anyway, I was spiritually hungry and dashed up to level four, filled up my particulars on a green slip where my records will be kept throughout the lesson.

I looked for a seat in the second row, left my bag there and went out to purchase the book, "Going On To Perfection" by our beloved Rev Kong Hee. Hehe. But anyway the book cost $15 and its available at the attributes. I looked at the book real hard in earnest expectation, like as though telling God, "After so long, I have finally reached a place where I know that I am rooted in you." It was like an achieve already going for this lesson.

Pastor Tan was leading in the teaching and boy was he good. I could feel the presence of the Lord oozing out from him and could really feel discipleship while he was teaching. During the teaching, I felt a bit of molding. It was not easy at first, but I knew that this was really "iron sharpening iron." It was almost every word of truth was directed at me. The more he spoke, my spirit was stirred and raging.

It was like Pastor Tan was challenging us to go on the be perfect in every way we could be and how we needed to carry on despite the trials and tribulations. It was interesting to know that there were 5 "hidden truths" in the book of hebrews. The 1st lesson talked about how when the author of hebrews was talking to the church and how suddenly the holy spirit took him on a journey to write about something else. Each time the author was distracted, the holy spirit got the author to write about the 5 spiritual truths.

This was like only the introduction to the lesson. The entire book on Volume 5 was about the tabernacle and how it was the shadow of heaven. Every aspect about it is really significant and Moses built it that people could come together to worship God. It is getting better everyday.

Anyway the author of the Book of Hebrews is unknown, it cold refer to anyone who called Timothy a "brother". Well, that's as close as it could get. :)

Well the journey ended, and now I am back home and about to sleep in the midst of huge amounts of projects. I really wonder how I can finish them all. For those who know me, please pray for me to help me get by this month, my exams are coming soon and erm so is like my birthday... heh. Well, sometimes, birthdays are really special to you.

Bless,
Abraham

The Adrenalin Rush

2004-09-15T02:28:00.000+08:00

Every time when I post on my blog, I feel as though I am always rushing for time and that I hardly have the time to take a breather. Well thank God its only another 2 more weeks before my term ends. But before the two shot weeks are up, I have 5 projects to rush out, which are like soooooooooooooooo long. But anyway apart from these projects, it gets like really tiring trying to attend to all these distractions. I have so many things which I want to do but I hardly have the time.

Well what can I say? A typical jack-of-all-trades but a master of none. How sad… : (

Moving on, this week has been cool with adequate rest. But I suppose that the system in Singapore is rather fixed, you know where you are going, syllabuses are usually fixed and are standard. From primary you go to secondary then either to junior college, a polytechnic or some institution. Its so fixed, you know where you are going.

But I must commend the new PM Lee for his efforts to introduce the five day week. And it is timely too. Just before I am going to the army to serve the nation, they reduced the time to 2years, increased the pay and even introduced a five day week. Seems cool to me. But I must thank God for this. I will be able to come to church and do the things that I like to do.

But I really wonder how the army is like?

I would like to know...

Bless,
Abraham

Thoughts

2004-09-11T02:52:00.000+08:00

Hi,

I have always wanted to write about the world of thoughts and how it really means to me but I haven't really had the time to do so. I was busy in school doing another emcee assignment. Seems like after I got into the "list", I have always been called to do these assignments. Although they may seem time consuming, after a while I love it. I think one day I will do these for freelance. Ha-ha.

Well on to the world of thoughts. To me, thoughts are wonderful, but like any other tool, it must be used with caution. I like what I study in business, whatever strategy that a company uses be it an aggressive or passive strategy, they must all be used with caution. Without caution it may lead to extreme mood swings.

I used to think a lot, and I noted that the more I think the more I got hooked. All people think, for me its just a little more than my peers and the topic that I think of are also different from my peers. Some people say I think too much others say I think like an adult – being burdened with the thing unrelated to me.

Well whether you are hard-core or not it really does not matter what you think about. The fact that you think means that you are using your brain. :) This will help you in your self discovery as time goes by.

Like I was mentioning previously, thought is a powerful tool to do the things that you want to do. But you must learn how to manage it as it is a double-edged sword. It can ether do you good or harm. There must be a limit as to where you want to think. If you think too much you will suffer from what I call “over-conscious” (conscious as in conscious in your mind, or a state of knowing the things around you) or sometimes it may lead to you being “over-sensitive”.

If you really want to think, think of things which are worth your while. But this again is really subjective. To me, girls right now are not important but it does not mean that I am gay (I like girls, but not now – too many obligations). But to my friends in class, girls are really very important. So much so that one of them is even thinking about marriage and stuff like that.

But you must understand your personal limit and protect your head from repercussions of serious thinking. In deep thought Plato said, “Know Thyself”. It seems really familiar to you and even me. But how do we really know ourselves? That question led me to some serious thinking.

But that’s another story to tell for another time. For now, we must understand and realised that it is important for us to strike a balance. So to all my dear friends out there please protect yourself from harm from thinking too much.

It really is not healthy to dwell on thoughts which are temporary. Things seen, or physical things that we can see will forever be temporary. However things that cannot be seen, should be the ones that we focus on. For me, it really is God. Thinking about his words from the bible makes me realise my destiny in Him.

Not as a compulsion, rather as an example of the things which I feel can be thought of. Ain’t that cool?

Well, do take time to think and time to relax too. Cheers!

Bless,
Abraham

The mood for blues

2004-09-04T13:21:00.000+08:00

The mood for Blues

The mood for blues is as such
A pain in my heart, a song to be sung
Letting out my weal and woe
I sing this song, the blues

The blues fill my heart this afternoon
It consumes my soul and leaves it bare
To the extent of broken bones
I feel myself exposed in the open

Proud and free – a glorious sign
To heaven I cry this very night
He stills my soul when I cry
All through this darkest moment – my life

It may seem to be a blind sight
To all who hide away from His light
Yet his arms wide open and heart laid there
To love, to comfort and to guide

Likened to the light, the shield and strength
He will forever stand till the end
Unto this fortress I stand firm
Walking into light amidst my own blindnes

Thoughts of Life

2004-08-31T16:46:00.000+08:00

Hi,

Welcome back, I was attending some leadership conference in school today and decided to give some of my thoughts about it. Indeed, the speakers were not fantastic but it was really about the experience in NYP. But right now in the midst of so many projects, I must say that this experience was really fun.

To view it in a bigger picture, I can sincerely say that it isn’t that bad to study in a whole. It is comfortable to flow with the system where ground rules are laid for you to succeed. When you begin to see how you a single being fits in this society, you will know that there are really that many options you can choose and you would have already known the outcomes.

Simple yet confusing

It does not surprise me to see how this whole organism works for its own good. Ruthless as it may appear, we can always look towards to brighter side of life and see a silver lining on that dark cloud. It really is about choice. But what surprises me is not the system being the way it is. Rather the choices that people choose to make knowing that it is not beneficial for them. Perhaps not many people would choose to look at things the way I’d do.

When I say IDARE in my web-blog, it does not really mean doing anything without thinking, rather doing the things that you already know that you want to do and go all out to strive for all that you want in life. It can be good or bad, but in any case, who are we, to define what is good or bad in a society of stereotypical beings taught in a way of thought. We define what is good or bad.

In a cosmic sense however, I do feel that we all know in our hearts what is right from wrong due to the fact that people have a conscience. It is just a matter of whether people are clear of what it says or unclear.

Which is why I like people who dare to make choices based not on their preference, rather what they know what they want in life. Is not about compulsion onto the being or pressure, it really is about you. To me I know how much I cannot live without the presence of a God, a creator.

Well how do you feel?

Bless,
Abraham

To be or not to be?

2004-08-28T01:04:00.000+08:00

Hi,

It has been a while since I last wrote. It seems like my blog will only be weekly affair. But because of this it will perhaps be longer than the previous posts. I will give some highlights throughout the week.

During the week, I have been trying to rush out two reports and a presentation. But it seems that after three years of studying in my polytechnic, (NYP), it seems to be the norm to be rushing out things like reports and presentations. For our reports, ten pages are done within a few hours and a presentation to be done impromptu within the next five hours away to daylight. Having little rests also seem to be the norm especially in Singapore. Every one tells me how tired they are but what they fail to say but not see is how everyone around them is tired. How ironical.

On top of rushing out the normal academic stuff, I was also busy practicing for a role in my schools dance musical,
"A Musical Journey through Time"

This was the real deal. There were two guests ministers who would be around and this made it more exciting. Although the load was hard but it paid off. Well I enjoyed every bit of it. I was even guided and trained by my school's professional lecturer, Mrs. Sandra Tan the PR manager or something like that. It is not often that you have such and opportunity. Do grab each and every moment that you have so as to be able to experience first hand what it is like to be a master of ceremony.

Friday was the big day. By four forty I was in school waiting for time to pass and put my make up on for the event. It was big. There were professional lightings and sound called in for this production. It was not only big, it was magnificent. I did catch a glimpse of the people who were all so busy back stage. Kinda fun.

But after all that it was kind of numb in my heart. I was not really happy. Yes the lights, the sounds the action, the intensity, the hype but also the temporary. It was all too temporary for me to accept it for the way it is. I was not interested in the entire thing.

This was how I felt after the big event which was supposed to be fun – numb, void. I guess it’s the way most stars feel and that is why they would often resort to drugs and other stimulants to bring out the wild nature in them so as to kill their boredom.

To be or not to be?

I’m getting really tired…

Bless,
Abraham

This is the day...

2004-08-21T11:00:00.000+08:00

Hello, welcome back.

I'm in good spirits today. It was wonderful being able to talk to Candy after so long. Not that feelings will rush to the degree of love, rather it was just a fondness in missing out the emotions of having a wonderful friend.

It must have been arranged, I must say. We have given each other countless numbers of supports where verses and encouragement start coming out of nowhere.

Let me share with you this wonderful experience. Few days back, She was telling how low she was feeling and how she appreciated my sms at the right time. But the biggest amazing thing was that at that point in time she was praying to God for someone to help her during this time. Its not that she does not have friends, rather something that she was doing, but that is another story for another time.

So we messaged and I was also praying and I heard this verse from the Lord, Isa 6:8:

“Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me.”

After finding the verse, I messaged the message. And lo and behold, a few days later she told me how the verse showed her a revelation. Ah, but if you want to know this revelation, ask her.

But the main point is that it helped her a great deal. Each time I have my problems, I would also get help from her. It used to be I would run to her, and that was not wise. I should run to God. It is really we choose to be and not allowing the circumstances to affect us.

Praising God has been getting easier with so much help from the Lord. The Lord will not allow me to go through things that he already knows I cannot go through. He will do the same for you too.

Bless,
Abraham

Revalation in Life

2004-08-14T13:05:00.000+08:00

Welcome back...

I have been busy this week. Involved in my schools graduation was a fun thing to do. Although it meant missing so many lessons I got to go on stage to sing and in session two, I got to emcee for the session. But before all the fun it was really boring gogin for all the reheasals.

We sang a song "A moment like this" by Kelly Clarkson. But all together we sang like, "11 moments like these". :)

It was wonderful time in all and I got to know so many people. When I have some pictures, I will place them here.

On top of the fun as a team, the director of our school prasied us for the effort and how good it was. Being involved and having so many things on hand is wonderful but I realised something during this period.

I was talking to one of my school mate's(she's a gal) boyfriend recently, and also to another friend of mine, Pei Yun. We were discussing on how weak men really are. If we men are supposed to be leaders, then as leaders who do we rely on when we are really sad.

I remember once reading in a book by John C Maxwell, that a leader has certain qualities. And one of it is to really stand like a rock. Unlike simon in the bible who was really weak and denied Jesus three times, He was named Peter by Jesus, whcih literally means a rock.

Even Peter after acknowledging Jesus, having stood on water and being one of the inner circle would falter, what more we? The question now in my head is not really about men, as in the male species, rather in general on how weak we really are.

How weak we really are as people living in this world. How weak we are as beings without the strength of the Lord. As I begin to learn and look and examine what life has to offer in both views -positive and negative, I know and am able to see how things would work out for us as believers.

The revalation is as such:

We as humans, in a spiritual realm, need to plug into our power house, our power house. As christians we may find that are weak, but yet the Jesus says,

"Let the weak say I am strong,
Let the poor say I am weak,
Because of what the Lord has done for us..."

And because of this we have the strength to move and to fight our fight of faith. We can always have our many revalations of life, but i'd prefer having revalation while I'm in life. This makes thing so much more interesting.

Bless,
Abraham

Thoughts in me

2004-08-02T18:37:00.000+08:00

My head is spinning around and around as the sudden flow of thoughts begin to fill my head all and around me. Like a heavy burden that is cast upon me, I can't seem to explain why there are so many things going on through my head. Thinking to me at times is like a curse. With so much thoughts in your head, you wonder why God blessed you with a brain.

It is so true for me. But at the end of the day, I would look back and think of how cute or funny that incident or that particular thought that crossed my head would be. Growing through this stage where boys and girls often pass through your head it makes one wonder why it seems to be. As you may have guessed it, I am thinking about relationships right now.

Thinking is so fun, you get to explore the different possibilities of where things may go. I am not trying to say that have anyone that i really like now, rather, it is the thought. But thoughts have to be restraint at times. I think i think too much too an extent that majority of my entreis would be so focused on the head rather than my own personal life.

Even for my own diary entries, it would be the case. I seem to place too much emphasis on the thoughts that go thourgh my head. By now if you are still reading, I must commend you for having such ctrong patience, cause I know that this does not seem to head anywhere as to telling you what I have been going through.

Well, to reward those who love my speech and naggy nature, my day has been a downcast one. Nothing sad, rather interesting how life goes through ups and down. Today I was in school at about 2 for a practice for the Big Graduation. But its not my graduation, rather, I'll be emceeing for the session and am also singing too. Right now its friday and its an evening, how I really wish I could go home right now to sleep, but I still have some research to do.

I suppose I am tired after all the rehearsals and stuff.

well, do pray and wish me all the best,
Bless,

Abraham

Me

2004-08-01T01:44:00.000+08:00

I often wonder in amazement, hardly anyone could tell you what they are like. Unfortunatly, I am no exception. I look around me and ask myself, is it really important to know any individual like myself. Perhaps I think too much.

But this "thinking" is rather intensive. This has led me to the point where I am able to reach places beyond my wildest dreams. It gives me a sense of freedom, where you thoughts likened to yourself, can create a world that is you. Not about being alone in this world, but being able to know what you realy want in life.

I know what i want in life, do you?

I want to impact the world with a simple gift. A gift of love, Knowing that there are people out there who really care and people who want the best of you, not the best OUT of you. People who give out of a willing heart not a wanting heart. It may sound like a dream. But unfortunately, its not the case.

To me at the end of the day, its not the end, but how I got there. Then I can hum to the tune, "I did it my way.." haha. But maybe not my way, but HIS way.

Bless,
Abraham

First Edition

2004-07-21T00:06:00.000+08:00

Hello,

Welcome to my first entry. I am who I am. Unfortunately, the ability to express how I really feel is trapped within this four walls. This is perhaps one of the greatest reasons why blogs are so popular. Blogs share, blogs communicate, blogs inform, blogs connect... the list goes on. (you know what I mean)

To all bloggers in the world, UNITE!

Haha, What an interesting way to begin bloggin. This ain't my first time expressing my thoughts, so I may drag on for a long, long time. Some people say I am naggy, some people say that I am just too nice, well I say, I am Abraham.

Well enough about me.

Bless,
Abraham